D.y.c.

 [Communication Expressionism Sculpture by Vivek Prasad]

Modernity is the enemy of the ancients; the curse disguised as a blessing to those who despise antiquity bolstering it as progressive. According to categorization, I’m a millennial, so I have that default authority to stand on the other side, in this article, and point out the flippancy that my generation has normalized.

“SIMULATION is to seem to be what we are not. DISSIMULATION is to seem not to be what we are” 

-Mark Rutland-

I have grown up under the indirect tutelage of indirect communication. My parents, unknown to them, made me a person who would rather say “It is hot isn’t it?” than tell you directly “You smell of bad body odor and you need to take a bath”. Courtesy! So we have been conditioned to think.

Over the years, I have subconsciously mastered how to let you read in between the lines of my speech and intention. To speak to you directly has become rather an option than it should be the only thing. Mixing truths with opinions and a touch of mind gaming has made me a dominant. To state however that my intention has to be deceptive is misleading; I simply soaked onto what was on offer. I have recently become aware of the undoing I need to.

“I’m coming back”

“There is some cake in the fridge”

“It would be nice to hang out with you sometime”

All of the above statements are just a few examples of indirect communication. If there is indirect communication then there must be direct communication. Direct communication is far from crudeness, notwithstanding however that some may describe it to be so. To address the above statements, the effective manner to communicate would be:

“I’m coming back”  “I’m going out to see Drusilla at her house”

“There is some cake in the fridge” “If you want some dessert, you can help yourself with some cake that’s in the fridge”

“It would be nice to hang out with you sometime” “I would want to hang out with you sometime, how is your schedule this coming Saturday after 1pm?”

You may probably be saying “come on, there is no difference, you are just splitting hairs over nothing!” Allow me to say that I understand your assessment but I humbly submit that there is a stark disparity between indirect and direct communication. The difference is sneaky, so much that it can take you totally off the right path of your life just like an airplane can deviate from its final destination just by a slightness of a few degrees. The grave danger in indirect communication is that it is only visibly catastrophic after much “progress” has been made.

I have had my fair share of consequences suffered from my indirect communication. I have lost the smooth texture of some friendships, put myself in compromising spaces against my values and paid heavily in time and resources for what I should have avoided. I have seen marriages crumble, I have followed stories of governments who have annexed other states, I have watched prosecutors and lawyers twists positions and I have comforted colleagues who have been let down by loved ones all in the form of indirect communication.

Until we admit bluntly that we can be innate to indirectly communicate our intentions because we are naturally lazy to be upright in speech and accountability, we will still short change ourselves. The leitmotif about indirect communication is that it overtime translates into a generational stratum that distorts the honesty and ethos of a culture. It then becomes normal to hide behind words and leave out the possibility of a transparent person, people and humanity. Indirect communication trickles into every fiber of society and spreads its toxic tentacles into all our relationships.

“But let your communication be, Yea, yea; Nay, nay: for whatsoever is more than these cometh of evil”     

[Matthew 5:37 KJV]

It should be no wonder that the Holy Scriptures exhort us to stick to the black and white frame of communication and advises that everything else outside that framework is evil. Indirect communication dabbles into diabolism and associates with manipulation which lies as the sin of witchcraft!

Many are a reason why we may communicate indirectly; some of the reasons might have nothing to do with evil at all, in some cases it may be a case in point of wisdom to do so (Nathan confronting David about his sin). However the reasons we may be compelled to communicate indirectly, let it be known that direct communication is the clearest and cleanest way to get across to another.

Maybe if you would communicate a bit more directly, your world would be better organised. Just maybe you will not have to muddle and be unclear about some of the situations you find your self in. In all your communication, try to communicate directly. In that way, there is a gauranteed quick response to your need. Be excellent in your communication.

Direct your communication!